Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize
