Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
she pinky promised me she was 18
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
hi, I love you... and I'm sorry your floor is covered in popcorn, your cabinet is broken, all your alcohol is gone, you're 80 dollars poorer, everything in your bedside table is soaked in beer, austin slept in your bed in those disgusting underwear, I made out with your toilet seat, and for talking to your mom with a four loko in my hand
Randomize
