the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.