I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow