Texts From Last Night

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  (941): View more from Florida

  I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie

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  (941): I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie http://tfl.nu/ovq9
  Replies (16) Good night (863) Bad night (1400)
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  (612): View more from Minnesota

  hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.

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  (612): hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted. http://tfl.nu/g5t8
  Replies (37) Good night (2767) Bad night (737)
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  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.

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  (717): He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping. http://tfl.nu/p29z
  Replies (27) Good night (1211) Bad night (4551)
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  (954): View more from Florida

  Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.

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  (954): Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency. http://tfl.nu/gvbc
  Replies (7) Good night (5768) Bad night (924)
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  (678): View more from Georgia

  If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.

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  (678): If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me. http://tfl.nu/3kcp
  Replies (5) Good night (1388) Bad night (1749)
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  (763): View more from Minnesota

  My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away

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  (763): My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away http://tfl.nu/xlij
  Replies (5) Good night (2014) Bad night (489)
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  (402): View more from Nebraska

  His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.

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  (402): His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time. http://tfl.nu/xcon
  Replies (11) Good night (1790) Bad night (497)
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  (907): View more from Alaska

  Can I color on your dick again?

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  (907): Can I color on your dick again? http://tfl.nu/t2pd
  Replies (12) Good night (1279) Bad night (520)
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  (970): View more from Colorado

  Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.

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  (970): Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon. http://tfl.nu/bx6h
  Replies (5) Good night (1778) Bad night (556)
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  (703): View more from Virginia

  I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car

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  (703): I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car http://tfl.nu/t9eq
  Replies (1) Good night (704) Bad night (376)
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  (352): View more from Florida

  But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?

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  (352): But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door? http://tfl.nu/ozrv
  Replies (3) Good night (762) Bad night (302)
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  (828): View more from North Carolina

  Just pee around me

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  (828): Just pee around me http://tfl.nu/21pc
  Replies (6) Good night (280) Bad night (529)
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  (601): View more from Mississippi

  I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.

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  (601): I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome. http://tfl.nu/2jlt
  Replies (2) Good night (399) Bad night (295)
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  (708): View more from Illinois

  State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.

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  (708): State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted. http://tfl.nu/x7uk
  Replies (3) Good night (344) Bad night (291)
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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.

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  (203): This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me. http://tfl.nu/gwzp
  Replies (3) Good night (443) Bad night (293)

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