I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
be there in ten.
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.