Texts From Last Night

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  (740): View more from Ohio

  Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night

  (631): View more from New York

  U should. Its a good ice breaker

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  (740): Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night (631): U should. Its a good ice breaker http://tfl.nu/6sdf
  Replies (10) Good night (3702) Bad night (743)
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  (912): View more from Georgia

  you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.

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  (912): you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler. http://tfl.nu/cu8r
  Replies (9) Good night (4508) Bad night (681)
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  (931): View more from Tennessee

  Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.

  (1-931): View more from Tennessee

  Wtf? What happened?

  (931): View more from Tennessee

  Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.

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  (931): Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other. (1-931): Wtf? What happened? (931): Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home. http://tfl.nu/q0zo
  Replies (42) Good night (17843) Bad night (1114)
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  (970): View more from Colorado

  do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?

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  (970): do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom? http://tfl.nu/19xa
  Replies (55) Good night (1170) Bad night (17289)
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  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.

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  (412): I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not. http://tfl.nu/jtsf
  Replies (14) Good night (7735) Bad night (948)
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  (212): View more from New York

  You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..

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  (212): You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark.. http://tfl.nu/eret
  Replies (12) Good night (2174) Bad night (728)
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  (713): View more from Texas

  I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.

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  (713): I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs. http://tfl.nu/2wij
  Replies (10) Good night (1569) Bad night (860)
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  (216): View more from Ohio

  Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.

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  (216): Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself. http://tfl.nu/3gaw
  Replies (46) Good night (2382) Bad night (804)
• Favorite

  (616): View more from Michigan

  Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?

  (1-616): View more from Michigan

  I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.

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  (616): Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries? (1-616): I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex. http://tfl.nu/oahp
  Replies (5) Good night (1003) Bad night (326)
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  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one

  (847): View more from Illinois

  I had a salad today

  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies

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  (978): When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one (847): I had a salad today (978): Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies http://tfl.nu/rhtj
  Replies (2) Good night (998) Bad night (583)
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  (509): View more from Washington

  Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.

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  (509): Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse. http://tfl.nu/4hg3
  Replies (0) Good night (477) Bad night (284)
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  (918): View more from Oklahoma

  I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?

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  (918): I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far? http://tfl.nu/cfji
  Replies (0) Good night (461) Bad night (286)
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  (631): View more from New York

  I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck

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  (631): I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck http://tfl.nu/l2kc
  Replies (4) Good night (1045) Bad night (304)
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  (416): View more from Toronto

  Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.

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  (416): Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch. http://tfl.nu/1d55
  Replies (2) Good night (442) Bad night (224)
• Favorite

  (206): View more from Washington

  Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.

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  (206): Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea. http://tfl.nu/ydnj
  Replies (1) Good night (426) Bad night (196)

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