I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
19 People Did The Wildest Things When They Were Black-Out Drunk
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
21 Signs That A Dude is Probably Insane
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name