New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
He felt like a one man threesome
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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