Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
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