Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
God, you're like boner-b-gone
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
where are my pants?
in the oven.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
Randomize
