I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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