dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
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