How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
I have surprise drugs for everyone
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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