you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
