we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
What changed your mind?
Being sober
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
Randomize
