Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
