I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
Randomize
