Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
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