You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
Randomize
