I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
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