I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
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