Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
Randomize