I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
Randomize
