mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
Randomize
