When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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