these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
Oh. Im drinking alone in a banana costume. Every time youre feeling down, i want you to think of me right now and know that your life is better than mine.
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
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