i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
COCAINE IS GR8
Randomize
