I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
Randomize
