somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize
