i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
meet me or not, i'm out of control
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
Houston, we have a squirter
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
Randomize
