he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
Randomize