If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
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