U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
no. you can't hotbox the world.
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
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