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4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
Randomize
