Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize
