even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
Randomize
