i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
