You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
Randomize