I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
Randomize
