I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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