dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
Randomize
