Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
Randomize
