He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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