Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
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