Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Randomize