do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
She's JV to your varsity
Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
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