Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
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