her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Randomize
