separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
Randomize
