Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
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