so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
Randomize
