It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
Randomize
