i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
Randomize