u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
seriously iPhone. stop autocorrecting all my fucks into ducks. you're making all my strong worded texts look harmless and adorable.
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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