So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Randomize
