And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
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