You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize