singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize
