All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
27 Common Occurrences Everyone Can Relate To But No One Talks About
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
21 People Intentionally Did Despicable Things During Sex
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.