you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
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He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
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Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.