My liver just broke up with me...
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites