i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize
