You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
