I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
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