But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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