She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
Randomize
