I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
