It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
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