Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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