Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
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