people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
