Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
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