I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
Randomize
