i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
So gin and wine won't be happening again
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
Randomize
