you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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