Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
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